12 weeks ago (August 17th) I got injured at training. I ended up with a separated shoulder. Over the past 3 months I've been documenting things, from initial injury all along the road to recovery. I think it gave me something to do, although it may have just seemed a bit self centred to some.
I found that I had so many questions and strange concerns that I thought an honest post like this might help others, and my physio therapist agreed. After all, being in a roller derby team means being part of the roller derby community, so I hope that this helps someone in some way.
Of course this is not just an injury that can happen in my sport. Throughout my recovery I have learned of people that have had the same or similar injuries from Cricket and Rugby, and I'm pretty sure most other sports.
The Day Of The Injury
It was the last training session before a B team tournament that I was super excited about. I was jamming in a scrim. Just as I was about to get completely out of the pack and take lead jammer position, BAM! I'm sure the collision didn't look that extreme or high speed. I remember the impact and yelling out... and I remember the landing... but not the bits between that.
I was holding my right shoulder with my left hand as I hit the floor, meaning that my elbow made first contact, which then sort of slid forward, adding to the pain and probably the damage. Once I was on the floor I just couldn't move. I felt pretty sure at that time that my collar bone was broken. The inability to move and the intense pain made me certain in fact. As well as the panic about the injury I was concerned about the person that I had contact with; how they were feeling.
Anyway, I had a group of teammates around me. They were super helpful and didn't push me to move, encouraging me to take my time and to say where I need support. My next concern was how my partner would take the news. She wasn't happy. I think it was a combination of being annoyed that it had happened, and worried, and stressed at having to come to the rescue on top of tiredness. I think that's normal for anyone really.
While waiting to be taken to the hospital one of my teamies noticed my shoulder sitting quite low. I caught my reflection on the way out to the carpark and again I thought "yeah, I've broken that!"
We fully prepared ourselves for a long wait in A&E. I felt like a fraud when I walked past all the sick looking people. I knew I was in a lot of pain but I didn't have visible signs like some of them did.
The first doctor was very gentle. She checked around my shoulder but didn't push anything too hard and said she thought it was my collar bone, so sent me for x-rays.
After X-rays we were back at the waiting room for a while before seeing the next doctor. He was less gentle. Pressing on the top of my shoulder (the bit I later discovered was raised) and then seeming surprised each time my face scrunched up and I let out noises of pain.
I didn't expect what was to happen next. He said he was just going to try something. With one hand holding my right elbow and the other holding my right hand, he pulled my arm across my body. I let out the loudest yell! I actually heard it echo! Immediately I was having a panic attack. Hyperventilating. I could not breathe! I desperately tried to catch my breath and it felt like it took ages to come back. The more I tried, the harder it was to breathe.
I didn't expect what was to happen next. He said he was just going to try something. With one hand holding my right elbow and the other holding my right hand, he pulled my arm across my body. I let out the loudest yell! I actually heard it echo! Immediately I was having a panic attack. Hyperventilating. I could not breathe! I desperately tried to catch my breath and it felt like it took ages to come back. The more I tried, the harder it was to breathe.
I don't think I've felt pain like that before. I mean, I've felt awful pain, because I have endometriosis, and also I have been knocked out before... and punched... but something about this pain made me literally lose my breath.
Finally, I got put into a sling and told that I have an acromioclavicular joint injury (AC joint injury) and that I would be in a sling for 4-6 weeks. I nodded, but I didn't really know anything at this point.
"But 6 weeks is ages!"
I thought that 4-6 weeks was ages to wait. Wearing a sling on my right arm was going to be a pain. I just knew it. How would I work? Anyway we were shattered and were grateful to be going home. I text my manager when I got into bed. It was a Wednesday so I was going to take the next 2 days off, and go back the following Monday. I probably could have done with more time, in fact I know I should have taken more time, but was concerned about work for all the wrong reasons.
That night, and for the next couple of weeks, I slept slightly sitting up with a V pillow on top of my normal pillows. It made laying on my good side so much easier.
That's my first tip. Make sure you have lots of pillows to support you and don't try to sleep flat initially, because even if you feel comfortable laying flat (which I didn't) you won't enjoy the getting up.
When you imagine having an injury where you have to stay at home and basically sit on the sofa, you don't quite realise how it will make you feel. I felt fed up within the first two days of being injured. I couldn't tie my hair up, I couldn't do my own bra up. I couldn't cook or clean. Going to the bathroom wasn't easy at all. Everything was frustrating and the pain was pretty rubbish.
My wife had to do pretty much everything for me the first few days, 'till I got more used to things. She is still helping me now with things like tying my hair up in the morning, helping me take my tops off etc. She's an absolute star!
I knew that other people deal with far, far worse so I felt that I couldn't complain. I didn't want to complain. I had to get on with it and be as positive as can be. I knew people dealing with things a million times more difficult.
Going back to work was so hard. Firstly I had to use my left hand for everything, and trying to use Photoshop to edit and create images, with your weak hand isn't fun. I felt like my work speed had reduced by at least 50%. I had to give some of my work to others. I felt useless. Also I felt partly invisible and partly looked down on. I won't go into too much detail but when people don't acknowledge the big massive sling, or ask how you are feeling, it really bloody hurts.
I'm a person that likes to help people. I care a lot about others. I do things for people without asking for anything. This was suddenly very strange for me. I have always been independent and comfortable with my own company, but to suddenly be struggling and in pain, with no one around you in certain environments seeming to care, it makes it so much harder.
Being around real friends really helps. I was lucky enough to have a couple of small groups of friends that swooped in the help cheer me up... and sometimes make me look silly...
When you imagine having an injury where you have to stay at home and basically sit on the sofa, you don't quite realise how it will make you feel. I felt fed up within the first two days of being injured. I couldn't tie my hair up, I couldn't do my own bra up. I couldn't cook or clean. Going to the bathroom wasn't easy at all. Everything was frustrating and the pain was pretty rubbish.
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| Bruising around my shoulder. I think it looks like leaked highlighter pen. |
I knew that other people deal with far, far worse so I felt that I couldn't complain. I didn't want to complain. I had to get on with it and be as positive as can be. I knew people dealing with things a million times more difficult.
Going back to work was so hard. Firstly I had to use my left hand for everything, and trying to use Photoshop to edit and create images, with your weak hand isn't fun. I felt like my work speed had reduced by at least 50%. I had to give some of my work to others. I felt useless. Also I felt partly invisible and partly looked down on. I won't go into too much detail but when people don't acknowledge the big massive sling, or ask how you are feeling, it really bloody hurts.
I'm a person that likes to help people. I care a lot about others. I do things for people without asking for anything. This was suddenly very strange for me. I have always been independent and comfortable with my own company, but to suddenly be struggling and in pain, with no one around you in certain environments seeming to care, it makes it so much harder.
Being around real friends really helps. I was lucky enough to have a couple of small groups of friends that swooped in the help cheer me up... and sometimes make me look silly...
Let's Get Physio
In the third week of recovery I started physiotherapy with a great therapist called Kirsty. Naturally I had lots of questions. I had a little print out with the various levels of my injury on, so that I could ask which one it was that I had.
Kirsty, went to check my x-rays and explained that my injury was part way between Type II and Type III (separated shoulder with ruptured ligaments) and that the ball of my arm was wedged up into my socket.
We went through a few exercises and I felt the most positive and happy I had felt since the injury. I was buzzing!
Tip: Ask questions. Write the answers down if you might forget. It's really important that you understand what is going on because it really does leave you worrying when you aren't sure.
A few days after that I had a bad day. The pain was really bad. I felt bad for calling up but I felt that I needed to speak to my physiotherapist. Although super busy, she was very helpful and kind. She advised me on a better way to wear my sling so that there was less pressure and my shoulder was feeling less pulling.
Since that week, physiotherapy has continued mostly on a weekly basis. In the second session I was introduced to the idea of having acupuncture to help loosen things up. I was up for that!! Anything to help.
As the sessions went along I felt like I was really seeing improvement and it really helped that Kirsty could notice the differences since each of the previous sessions.
I had to start using the sling less, but also be careful. For the first few weeks I wore my sling full time, including bed time. I only took it off to get changed and do my given exercises. Then on the 4th week I would have a bit of time at home in the evenings and in the mornings before work without it on. Between week 5 and 6 I was only using it for travelling to and from work, and also if we went out to busy places before going completely without it during the day. I only wore it at night.
A few days after it reached 6 full weeks I tried to sleep without the sling on. This was a bit scary, but the first night was fine. The next night I had a dream I was swimming, and woke up with my arm up above my face and STUCK. Panting like a lady in labour, I carefully got my arm back down into place using my other hand.
This is a good tip for people weaning themselves away from the full sling: After that swimming dream incident, for a couple of weeks I used the extra strap from the sling to hold the upper part of my arm next to my body. Phew. It really helped.
Now I've been without any straps for a few weeks, and although I do sometimes wake with a bit of pain or discomfort, it's been fine.
I still can't really lay on my right side in bed, but that's OK. My body doesn't even try to turn onto that side in the night.
Visual Differences
Something I found quite interesting is the way your body changes when you aren't using it in the same way. The first couple of days walking to work made my legs really ache. The outer sides of my lower legs, after a couple of days, felt like I had been to the gym. I thought it was a weird place to hurt, but your body has to balance itself in other ways. I had the odd twinge in my hips too.
I also noticed that my injured arm was thinner and the shoulder looked squashed in, as you can see in these photos below.
Right now the top of my arm (the ball shaped part that got wedged) is still stuck forward, but I have been told that if I continue with the exercises and stretches that will eventually go back to how it should be. I've also been using a warm pillow (you know the ones you pop in the microwave) and resting that on my neck and areas around the injury, which is really soothing.
Also this weekend I'm getting a relaxing massage from my friend who is a massage therapist. She is going to be giving me an Indian head massage and also will be concentrating on trying to loosen up some of those tight ligaments and muscles. I have had a few massages from her and I cannot recommend her enough. Check out My Time Massage Therapy if you are in Buckinghamshire and surrounding areas.
I'm also going to get a different type of massage soon from another teamie friend that specialises in soft tissue therapy. She helped me with other problems I have had with my legs, and as I'm naturally quite a tense person I'm willing to try all types of therapies to help with the healing.
Just under a week ago I asked if I could see my X-rays, as I didn't get to see them in the hospital when I had them done. I think it was good to see them so long after the bulk of the healing was done because even now I feel squeamish thinking about it all. Here is the Xray that shows the separation and the wedged arm.
It turns out that the 4-6 weeks was pretty much an estimate for sling time. I'm still not healed and ready to get back to skating. I'm assuming that by now the gap has closed up and the ligaments are healed or healing well. I still am lacking full movement but am working at the exercises and, as instructed, I'm now doing things like cooking and washing up even if it hurts.
Right I have waffled on a lot here. Of course if anyone has any questions about this or wants more detail on anything, please leave me a comment or get in touch on Twitter or Instagram.
I'm going to leave you here with my top tips, based on the past 12 weeks:
I'm going to leave you here with my top tips, based on the past 12 weeks:
- Lots of soft pillows to support you in bed. If you have one, a V pillow is awesome!
- When shampooing your hair, squirt the shampoo onto the back of your bad hand and just scoop it off when you've put the bottle down. DO NOT try to squeeze the shampoo out with your bad side's hand. I made this mistake a few weeks in and nearly puked! It doesn't feel good.
- Wear slip on shoes. If you don't have any....get some! Tying laces with one hand is only for magicians (although I did nearly do it once).
- Belts? Forget it. For the first couple of weeks, at least, you won't be able to do them up.
- If like me you are used to a proper alarm clock that sits on your bedside table, you will need to start using your phone alarm. You will be laying on your good side a lot of the night, so reaching over to get the alarm will be hard. A phone can be put in a convenient place. One of the first mornings I couldn't get to my alarm and woke up yelling "help, I'm stuck!". My wife jumped over me and couldn't work out how to turn it off. From then on it was all about the phone.
- Getting tops on. You will have to change the way you do this and get used to it. Firstly put in the injured arm, then your head and then your good arm. Trust me, you don't want to be trying to put your t-shirts and jumpers on normally with a separated shoulder.
- If you are a lady and there isn't anyone around to do your bra up, do the bra up before putting it on like a t-shirt. Using a similar method to the top method above. I have only just started to be able to do the "clip up at the front then turn around" trick about 11 or 12 weeks in. I forgot to mention also that you will probably need to loosen the bra straps for a few weeks.
- When out and about, get a trustworthy person to walk on your injured side. Strangers just walk into you and fling their arms about like crazy people.
- Try to have meals that you can either pick up or eat easily with just a fork or spoon. Also try to have your meals in a bowl, as it makes it easier when chasing around the last few bits with your spoon.
- If your writing side is the one that's injured, prepare yourself for long toilet breaks. It's surprising how hard it is to *a-hem* wipe with your weak hand.
- In the initial weeks at work, you may need to wedge doors open before going to get your tea/coffee, because you won't be able to open the door AND carry your cup.
- DO YOUR PHYSIO EXERCISES! If you don't bother, then don't expect to get better. It's very important.